dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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