he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
