I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
this beer tastes like vomit already
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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