my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
