and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
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