I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
