Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
