WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize