The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
