He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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