me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize