Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
