I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i will never coherently bang her
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
