Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
