i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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