we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
