How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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