Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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