We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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