he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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