Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We got so high we made milksteak
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
