Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
