eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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