Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
