Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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