Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
