so let's talk penis.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
