The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
