Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
