I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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