Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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