woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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