5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I look better un-naked...
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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