she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
