just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
