why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
