I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize