They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
