I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
