I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
