It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
