either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Apparently you make a good broom.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
