if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
