come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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