I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize