My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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