Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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