My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
