he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
