Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
