Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i think i have herpe
just one?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
