Joe is yelling at the trees again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
