the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My vagina just recognized that song.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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