she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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