we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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