His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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