what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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