Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
