He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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