Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
