We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
