Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
