dude i'm inner monologue high
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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