My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
"it" just moved
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
His nipple licking is glorious
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